harness_rivet

!!! (pronounced "bang bang bang")

Tue, 10 Feb 2009 18:26:46 GMT

What if the potential stimulus bill is prompting GM to lay off employees in an melodramatic effort to show just how much they need the bill.

Update.

Sun, 17 Aug 2008 06:26:45 GMT

That's what these are for, right?

Well, I'm sad. I don't want to say why on here, but you might be able to figure it out. It's happened before... too many hints. Tell you what, I'll give you three more; two of them are true, one is not. Ready?

1. I'm a horrible person.
2. I'm a horrible person.
3. I'm a horrible person.

Keep in mind, I might not mean the same thing by all those words all the times.

Music is depressing me right now. All of it... Well in theory it is. If I ignore it, and it ends up white noise, it's fine, but if I listen it starts depressing me. The problem is, by trying to ignore it, all I can accomplish is to listen.

*sigh*

Story of my life. Ladies, amirite?

I want to see people. Not all of them, mind you, but lots.

Keep in mind that not all people are real ones. At least not in this case. In some cases it is. And in yet others it is strictly not. As in no bullshit.

Did I just call what I think I just called that? No regrets...

Which just gives me another.

Well, this is long enough.

Emo enough*
fix'd

Sour Times - Portishead

It surprised me just now. Look above if you don't know why.

Hey, look, it still is.

Does anyone have any miracles? I will buy them from you, but only if they're primo all-purpose miracles. That walkin' on water shit 'n' shit ain't doin' me no good tonight, bitches.

I have another comic to draw, but I know it won't win. Not tonight, anyway. Better luck tomorrow.

Did I ask for help? Should I?

P.S. That ladies comment? It followed the truth. Haaaaardcoooore.
P.P.S. That made me even sadder, but best to face it, eh?
P.P.P.S. That's what the captain'd say, boiz and grrrlz.

Welcome back

Thu, 17 Jul 2008 23:24:16 GMT

Step 1: Put your iPod [or whatever] on random.
Step 2: Post the 1st line from the first 31 songs that play, no matter how embarrassing the song (lol). And it doesn't have to be perfect if you can't understand the lyrics word for word(n00b). If the title line is the first line, take the next one.
Step 3: Let everyone guess what song and artist the lines come from.
Step 4: Bold the songs when someone guesses correctly.
Step 5: Looking them up on Google or any other search engine is CHEATING! (cheaterzdie)

1) They're the worlds most fearsome fighting team. (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles - Ariana)

2) I took the polaroid down from my room. I'm pretty sure you have a new girlfriend. (Tire Swing - Kimya Dawson - Sam)

3) Dear I fear we're facing a problem: you love me no longer, I know. (Lovefool - The Cardigans - Xander)

4) Rich man smells smoke, he smells somethin' burning green.

5) If you're wondering what you look like, look at me.

6) He didn't like to jostle in the light, finding it much soother in the night. With his face as pale as pancakes and his posture in rebellion with his height.

7) So if you're lonely, you know I'm here waiting for you. I'm just a crosshair, I'm just a shot away from here. (Take Me Out - Franz Ferdinand - Sam)

8) It's a little bit funny, this feeling inside, I'm not one of those who can easily hide. (Your Song - Elton John - Sam)

9) If there's someone you can live without, well do so! (Be My Yoko Ono - Barenaked Ladies - Ariana)

10) In the day... he bites down trees... chews away... THE BARK! (FFFFUCK YEEEES! I will go down on anyone who actually gets this one. Jesusss.)

11) (Some chanting in some language... and then...) Never seen a bluer sky. I can feel it reaching out, and moving closer.

12) Yeah. That's some funky funky shit. Hey, bust it. Yo, yo, [ARTIST'S NAME] tremendous force that ends your course

13) If I remember the night that we met, tasted a wine that I'll never forget. (Portishead - Xander)

14) [SONG TITLE] I used to seek pleasure [SONG TITLE] I used to drink ale. (When I Was a Young Girl - Feist - Ariana)

15) He's a wounded animal. He lives in a matchbox. (20 Years of Snow - Regina Spektor - Ariana)

16) Thick and thin, and anything the future may bring.

17) We are gathered here today, in these majestic halls, to honor a man they call [SONG TITLE]

18) Yo, in the year three-thousand and thirty, everybody wants to be an mc. (Deltron 3030, anyone know the song title? I'll look it up later - Allison)

19) Adjectives on a typewriter, he moves his words like a prize fighter. (Shadow Stabbing - Cake - Sam)

20) The last survivor of a boiled crown, another casualty with a casual frown.

21) Can't you hear those cavalry drums, hijacking your equilibrium.

22) There are strings, strung from our hands, they extend to every point across this land.

23) The birds used to nest, in the holes in our chests. (The Birds and the Bees - Agent Ribbons - Allison)

24) I love the way that you walk, the way that you talk, really knocks me out, girrrrl!

25) You may think you're in Heaven.

26) [SONG TITLE] it's taking up too much room [SONG TITLE] it grows like a balloon, and it might just float away! (Your Head's Too Big - The Ditty Bops - Allison)

27) Hahahahaha, did I hear you say, "is life worth living?" I think that depends on the meaning.

28) [SONG TITLE] are here again, summer evenings blow(?)

29) Slice me off a big slab, of that sympathetic cheer. If I'm zapped with radiation, they say I'll last another year.

30) [SONG TITLE] [OBVIOUS LINE THAT WOULD GIVE AWAY SONG TITLE] but these kisses take trips to San Francisco, double-dutch disco, tech tv hottie, do it for scotty, do it for the living and do it for the dead... (Loose Lips - Kimya Dawson - Allison)

31) I can see that you were right about this place, I can make a perfect likeness of your body, if I trace, I can hold you till you turn out the light, and I can seeeeeeeee (Wrap Your Arms Around Me - Barenaked Ladies - Ariana)

I skipped songs that were instrumental, or songs that I hadn't ever heard before, and a couple that I didn't want to wait through several minutes of jamming to get to the lyrics. This life Pink Floyd album of my brother's is actually kinda lame.

I love my dad.

Sat, 24 Nov 2007 18:57:42 GMT

One of the light switches in the house isn't working. He used a circuit tester, but it wasn't the right kind, so he broke it testing the circuit. Later, out of the blue at that point actually, he comes in from the garage and says, "Look! I just made a circuit tester!"

I love my dad.

P.S. It worked!

Thu, 22 Nov 2007 02:53:58 GMT

What is it like to put a muzzle on a pug?

Update:

Sorry, this one's pretty emo.

Mon, 12 Nov 2007 01:13:17 GMT

I feel like I have to work really hard to ever hang out with anyone, and that I only hang out with friends once every other week or so. Some of you I haven't seen in at least a month. It seems like sometimes friends that I wouldn't have thought would even know each other hang out with each other more than they do with me. Am I not fun to hang out with? Am I hard to get ahold of? Am I just making this up? Do you need my cell phone number? It's 953-5856 if you do. I check my internets all the time anyway, though. Also, just because I live in Cottage Grove doesn't mean I can't hang out. I go up to Eugene at least five days a week already, ya know. And just because I don't like to drink doesn't mean I want to avoid parties with alcohol. I don't drink because I can hardly stomach the stuff, not because I'm opposed to it.

I hate to sound so whiny, but I'm really lonely.

The Wizard of Oz

Sun, 11 Nov 2007 03:49:49 GMT

Really isn't a very good movie.

Anyway, I'm thinking of not going to college for much longer. I'm thinking I'll take up phlebotomy, starting spring term through Lane, and then I'll be able to do that by next winter at the latest. Then I'll just work, and live in Eugene; read all the books I want to read, try to practice my horns, maybe pick up another instrument, try to write, and mabye work on transitioning.

I started to talk about this in my last myspace blog, but I didn't talk about what I was planning on doing with my life. The Wall is a really good album. I really like the idea of not being in school. I mean, my entire life thus far has been either going to school, or working to pay for school. I'm sick of it. In my mind it makes more sense to go to college later in life. Those of you who are in college have certainly had a class with someone of our parents' generation or older. They're always the best students. They want to be there, they can afford to be there, they know who they are, and they know what they're doing. Right now I'm spending thousands of dollars working toward a degree that I don't need if I end up doing what I want to do, or even end up in several of my back up plans.

I would like to learn Japanese, though. Of course, it would be easy to take that one class. Or not. I don't know. Anyone have any feelings on my plans? I'd love to hear 'em.

No-Shave November is comin' up

Sun, 28 Oct 2007 18:00:51 GMT

What'm I gonna do?

Also, I have a few thousand words of a super hero parody written, if anyone wants to read about Rex Daunting, Karen Büst, Beshemoth, and Sparkling Dan.

Also, if you haven't seen my facebook or myspace, I feel really shitty and awful.

Apparently I thought I'd update. Tell ya what, I'll try to find a neat picture to give ya all. Be back a little later.

Lion King Update

Sun, 14 Oct 2007 05:15:18 GMT

I've just made it to page 60. Young Simba hasn't left the pride yet. I'm gettin' close to that, though. Anyway, I'm wondering if anyone wants to read it again. Anybody? Anybody at all? So far my mom has read it, and thought it was dark, which it is, and which is good since it's supposed to be, and my therapist read it, and thought it was good, which is awfully cool. But that's it. My mom and my shrink. Anybody else wanna read it? Eh? Ehhh?

On another note. What should I be for halloween? People are doing things for halloween, right? I mean, it's the eve of all saint's day. Why wouldn't we celebrate that with costumes, candy and alcohol?

(P.S. font color=generalmills)
(P.P.S. ftw!)

So I feel racist.

Fri, 05 Oct 2007 04:04:25 GMT

Outside the former William's Bakery there are some temporary "No Parking" signs. Duct tape on them inform that they are in effect for "All of Roctober." I'm sure this is a combination of "rock" and "October," but! in the back of my mind I always think that it might be a hilariously racist remark towards Asians, as though it should be spelled "loctober." Every time I feel bad about it, but I also manage smirk despite trying to hold it back. Anybody with me on this?

Career choices.

Sun, 16 Sep 2007 07:50:44 GMT

1. Go to http://www.careercruising.com/.
2. Put in Username: nycareers, Password: landmark.
3. Take their "Career Matchmaker" questions.
4. Post the top ten results

1. Costume Designer
2. Special Effects Technician
3. Fashion Designer
4. Actor
5. Animator
6. Makeup Artist
7. Artist
8. Graphic Designer
9. Computer Animator
10. Comedian

Comedian!

Number 16 was cartoonist and 17 was magician. I love that magician is part of their database. I like this one a lot. Comedian!

You're supposed to be professionals.

Fri, 14 Sep 2007 05:24:35 GMT

I looked up "dude" for the etymology in the dicitonary provided my computer. (Oxford American, if you're curious, which I know some of you are.) The first definition given is "a man; a guy."

The example given: "if some dude smacked me, I'd smack him back."

Why the hell is that the definition given by a dictionary? Seriously, guys. Come on, now.

Update: Now, I've been trying to keep away from the immature humor some recently, but when I find things like this, I can't help myself:

And a-NO-ther thing

Sat, 08 Sep 2007 07:18:28 GMT

I think I told most of you about this already, but I finally did it the other night, up on 30th, coming home after work:

No, I didn't find this, I made it myself. I even signed it "Athens Rivers," but you can't even read that if you go to the actual sign. Graphite sticks don't write to well on ultra-dingy, slightly dew-moistened road signs. I think it got the job done, though.

YAAAAAAY!

Fri, 07 Sep 2007 20:05:07 GMT

YAAAAAAAAY!

ILU, howmanyofme.com!

P.S.

Anybody loose some glasses?

Mon, 20 Aug 2007 04:16:56 GMT

Check out these crazy cool glasses my mom found under the seat in my car!

(My impression of an old man who might wear such glasses.)

Do they belong to anybody? They're fairly strong reading glasses. I kinda wanna take 'em to my optometrist and be like, "can you put my lenses in these frames?"

(font color is "seat," and I like it.)

I need some help.

Thu, 16 Aug 2007 23:25:06 GMT

I calligraphed this word face a while ago. Now that I'm looking at it again, I have no idea what it reads:

The letters I'm sure of:

E --> hair

C --> ear

R --> ear

R --> left eye

H --> nose

U --> chin

S --> right side of face

and then... I dunno...

Possibilities for that right eye: s, v, h... other stuff? I'm really just completely lost on what that is supposed to be.

The mouth: I'm sure there's an "o"... no wait! the mouth could be an "ing..."

*sigh* if you have any ideas of what it says, I'd love to hear 'em. That squiggle in the top left corner is part of a different thing.

*sigh again*

Dammit! *facepalm*

Last night's dream:

Thu, 16 Aug 2007 17:32:41 GMT

So we were vacationing in Hawaii. Except, it was my grandpa's house... and the islands were about as big as his yard. Which was all tropical, cuz it was Hawaii. It was really cool, there were neat pools to swim in and everything. I wanted to swim in one, but I was trying to find a women's simsuit to wear. A one-piece. Anyway, my struggles to find out how to put on this one-piece swimsuit were soon overshadowed by deeper problems: I was in the Harry Potter universe, and it was sort of like in "final battle" mode (which has happened before, even though I haven't read the last one yet). There was like this important gem or something that was trying to be stolen, and I was like all magicking the bad guys and stuff. We'd fly around, and sometimes end up back at the Hawaii place, hiding this gem from the bad guys. At one point I was away from the castle, and I didn't take a broom back or anything: instead, there like were like, tornadoes and twisters and storms and shit goin' on and I was like, "fuck it, I'll just ride these back." So I end up like, flying into the stratosphere on twisters and then coming back down on the castle. And despite being asleep, in the back of my mind I was sort of like, "what? I'm a like storm god now? All right, that's cool, I guess..." So we fight these bad guys for really quite some time, and then it ends up being like serious end of the world kind of stuff, and these like Angels of Death characters are floating around everywhere and it's all post-apocalypticy with no buildings and shit. So I do the logical survival thing: I take my companions (who are like tiny magic creature kinds of things) and start to make my way as covertly as possible to Washington D.C., which is obviously the only remaining non-zombie state. What? No seriously, I had to get to D.C. So when I get there it's no longer Harry Potter, it's like a zombie movie, and I'm like, "Lame, I hate zombie movies." I vividly remember saying to someone at one point that Zombie movies are boring. Anyway, we're sort of like the last survivors of earth, with Zombies vaguely closing in, but I had somehow lost all interest in the dream at that point, and woke up.

The Harry Potter part was fucking cool, though. I'm still somewhat convinced I can do magic. Srsly, guys. You don't even know.

Update: I didn't stress just how awesome the Harry Potter part was. It was epic, and long, and I was kickin' ass, and it was one of my favorite things ever. I am not exaggerating in any way. It was really quite stunning. I'm sad it's over. Man. So cool.

Hint: it's a cry for help!

Tue, 14 Aug 2007 05:46:45 GMT

Although I don't know how you could help.

I'm feeling really dysphoric right now. And kind of suicidal, but not... not really.

Here's my dysphoria-fueld desire. The thing that will balance me out: I need to just evaporate into nothing. I don't need to be female. I don't need to be male. I don't need to be successful, or artistic, or human, or anything at all. I just need to close my eyes and look up into the light and have my spirit soare out to its true home. I just need to fly through space at the speed of light, moving at that speed where speed and distance no longer matter. No more sound, or anything else. Just light and eternal contact, moving with some great body of entities through all of everything. I need to move through the entire universe, and when we reach the end, we just end, and become part of the great existence we just passed. No more plot. No more actions. Hardly even being. Just existing seamlessly in the cloud of vapor of all entirety.

My explanations can't do it justice. Sleep is terrifying. Any reminder of existence in this world of finites-in-infinite-variation is agony. I can't handle there being things anymore. I need to just be.

Page 21!

Wed, 08 Aug 2007 02:32:18 GMT

That's right, I just finished the directions for page 20 of the Lion King script I'm writing! I think I've told most of you about it, but if you haven't heard, I've completed the dialogue, and am now working on the directions for my grim retelling of the Lion King. I desperately need feedback, so if anyone wants to read what I've got so far, please please please let me know! Just, try to be nice with your comments.

Thanks guys!

I'm prolly going to bed soon.

Sat, 28 Jul 2007 08:29:01 GMT

So I haven't been on livejournal in quite some time now. Whoops.

Anyway, this is going to break my silence: I'm reading Harry Potter number six, and I just got to the part of the book in late December. They celebrate Christmas at Hogwarts, which seems weird to me, it being a school of witchcraft and wizardry. Then I thought, wait, are there any Jewish witches or wizards? Sure, there's some black guys every now and then, but is everyone Christian at Hogwarts? That seems... hmm... I'm just sayin'. There's bound to be some Jewish wizards out there. Like Jesus, for instance. In the Harry Potter universe, I bet Jesus was a wizard. It makes sense.

Update: I guess there are those Hindi twins... hmm, curious.

Philosophy from a gender queer:

Sun, 08 Jul 2007 08:37:40 GMT

I just told this to a friend on AIM. I wanted to write it down:

don't think of god as a being
it doesn't think, or plan, or know
it just is
it is everything
it's like a giant tree
in that it doesn't have consciousness
of course it can do anything, and knows everything... it is everything!
just as you can do "being yourself," god can do "being existence"
and if you can do "being your foot," in that some small part of you (your foot) is being your foot, some small part of god is being you
this goes for time as well
no fate, everything just is
and since everything is, everything is going to be
it can't do anything else

This is just how it is out of the conversation. I'll come back and edit it later, maybe. I think it's articulate enough for now, though. Gentle feedback would be neat. (So would cheek kisses!)

This happened in the shower just now:

Wed, 20 Jun 2007 07:10:23 GMT

A woman told me that, "I can't really know the true pain of a woman." And I said, "Well, you didn't have to pay for it, so you can't really appreciate your 'true pain of a woman.' So *nyah nyah nyah!*" Then I realized, "Wait! That's actually a legitimate argument! You're using your pain as a justification for your existence, which you are then using as a comparison by which you are better than someone else. Therefore, it is a benefit to you, which means you need to appreciate it, bitch! I wasn't a philosophy major for nothin'!"

Actually, I wasn't a philosophy major, because that would have been for nothing. I saw a list of careers for philosophy majors, it was like,

"You could work for the GOVERNMENT!"

And I was like, "I could do that ANYWAY!"

"Except, without the college, I'd be thousands of dollars richer, so I could have a NEW CAR!"

Philosophy majors must be the dumbest, most enlightened people around. The poor guys have to just try to get people to listen to 'em: "Hey, everyone, I have a really good idea!" "Hey, thanks! That helps a lot. Tell ya what, as reward for your boon to humanity, the next time I see you crossing the street I'll honk and wave, how's that?"

So that's how I spent my evening. Well, I did that while shaving, so it wasn't a complete loss. My nose hurts. Damn you, sun! This is one more reason I prefer night. Wellp, I'ma go take some medicine. See you folks on the flip side.

On a side note: does anyone know just exactly how html font colors work? That was "goodgod"... who was the programming genius who decided that "goodgod" was going to be vaguely teal? Weirdos.

Dysphoria

Wed, 20 Jun 2007 05:29:35 GMT

I can't write a résumé because it feels like lying. I'm supposed to tell every one of my positive qualities, and leave out all the negative ones. For example: I was in National Honor Society at my high school. Often, to be a part of NHS, you must attend regular meetings, and I believe participate in other ways as well. At my school, I had to fill out a single sheet of paper, giving four or five ways I fulfilled the Academic, Community Service, and other things. That was it. When it came time to put down my accomplishments on college applications, I didn't feel like that was an accomplishment. I often omitted it, especially when the application asked to give the way I participated in the group. I mean, I couldn't have just left it blank. Wouldn't that be lying? And college: I'm supposed to lie to get into an institution full of liars, conducted by people who want me to lie, so that I can get a degree with which to lie on résumés and applications, so I can get a job with a bunch of other liars, doing something I might not love, but which will "pay the bills." This doesn't sit well with me, but the worst part is when I'm told to do it anyway, or "not think of it like that," and betray my morals. Well, I refuse to participate! Society, consider this my official fuck you. I'm done. Don't ask me "what now?" because I don't have that figured out. I just know that I'm done acting like I need to follow the establishment because I don't have my own ideas.

This is my major dysphoria. My body, and gender, and everything, whatever. This is how I don't fit into society.

Dream

Thu, 07 Jun 2007 23:09:23 GMT

I just took a nap. My dream included a Hulk Hogan movie. Hulk and some kids were trying to foil some, like, jewel thieves, or something. I think maybe the jewels were also like, some military secret or something. I dunno, they were quite valuable and secret. Toward the end, the jewel thieves were hiding in a quite active volcano, with the idea that they weren't going to get away, so they might as well take everyone down with 'em. Then the kids showed up just in time (?) and pulled the thieves out of the volcano entrance, so of course there was only one thing left to do: Wrestling tournament. The two groups paired off according to similarity of character. The kids had kinda turned into their parents, I guess, so it wasn't kids fighting jewel thieves. I dunno. Dreams are silly.

AUGH!!!

Thu, 07 Jun 2007 09:03:55 GMT

I hate you hate you hate you, OCD! I can't think! I can't be me! I can't do anything! It's just guns all the time! Bang bang! *Swords clashing!* *Other obnoxious shit!* The thing I wanna know is why it's violence. That just seems weird. The other thing I want is for it to stop! GODDAMMIT GODDAMMIT GODDAMMIT!

*sniff* I want my seroquel back.

4:15 AM Update: I'm scared. I don't know what's going on inside my head. I feel like two people. Someone come give me a hug. Now.